Nonchalance

I realized that the more I looked into this blog the more I feel foolish. In the past, I kept putting myself down, in order to make myself work harder. Thus, consequences followed these actions. I was an insecure girl who just didn't realize that there is so much more than my crazy, superficial standards. I realized I'm very competitive in my own game. I always want to be better than others because I'm selfish. I realized I can't be super proud of people who got what I want. But then again, it's human nature to feel this way. Realizing these things, I just don't want to care anymore. But not in this super harsh way.

I learned that the more I keep putting myself down for not getting into the schools I want, the more miserable I'll be when I go to college. It's time to not care about what colleges others get into because they worked harder, than me, for it. I realized that I didn't study as hard as others, and that's why they achieved much more. I have to stop resenting my own brother because he chose a successful path in college even though I will have to take the harder route, financially. I'm just going to stop comparing myself to others and just appreciate that I got accepted to decent colleges. I'm going to stop being so uptight about my grades and just go with the flow and study when I have to. I'm going to start doing things my way, nonchalantly, and achieve to greatness without showing my tremendous concerns. I don't want to be too selfish anymore.