WOW. I'm amazed how everything is going by so quickly. I remember going through that difficult period in sophomore year where I felt that people hated me in school, to the part where I befriended people when the school year ended. I remember during memorial weekend, TECBC changed my life and my spiritual walk. I remember prior that I stopped caring about my spiritual life, and then during it, God spoke to me. I remember the tears rolling from my mother's face after my dear grandmother passed away right at 5:00 in the morning, while she woke me up telling me the terrible news. I remember not going to school for a week after that because I was sick. I remember the 30 hr famine, and during the 29th hour, I was about to black out. The overheating body with the ice-cold hands of mines, just worshipping with all the little energy i had left. I remember the relationship for 3 months that was a rocky road, the joy and the downfalls of it. I remember the conversation about relationships with my dad, the emotional state my dad was in and his fears for me. I remember that feeling of guilt, from keeping that relationship from my dad for months. I remember the depression I had because of a broken relationship and a wounded friendship of 4 years. I remember the tears I've shed when my friendship went down the drain. I remember the days I isolated myself from them, making them wonder what's been going on with me for months. I remember the new school year starting, and the horrendous amount of work that was thrown upon me. I remember volleyball season, becoming the setter was so important. I remember the drama happening in my team and the brokeness in my team, the miscommunications.
Althought they all sound so bad, each and everyone of them made up this year. But not all of it was bad, I remember when I went to TECBC, I re-met Kayla, the girl who i called "best friend" when i was 5 years old in China over the summer of 2000. When I first met her back then, she was my automatic best friend because I played with her. I remember when I saw her again, we clicked just like we did 10 years ago. God watched over us. I remember the last minute planning for my sweet16. I remember that night, I was dressed up in that long white gown and the short purple dress. I remember shedding a tear, as I danced with my dad that evening because I was growing up. I remember in Summer Conference, the long line of people excited to share their testimony. I remember that weekend where half of Cana decided to accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior and became more serious in their faith. I remember the month where I hung out with my parents every weekend and had tons of fun. I remember the day when I was sick and watched 6 movies back to back. I remember resolving the wounded friendship of my girlies and just shopping and laughing about it. I remember trying to fix myself so I wouldn't have to go through that again. I remember how I gained 4 pounds since the beginning of the year. I remember writing a song... but then I forgot the melody of it. FML. I remember cleaning up my room for the entire day and threw away half of the clothes in my drawers, and still can't fit my clothes in it. I remember when I was packing for Winter Conference and messed up my drawers :(. I remember ending the year, talking to someone (who's going to read this sooner or later) late at night oovooing until 2:38am and still on going, right before sleeping for a few hours and then going to winter conference.
Yes, this is the brief overview of my year and I loved every single moment, no matter how upsetting it was back then. Now that I look at it, I can laugh about it. Another year coming, no expectations and no resolutions. I don't need to change anything and I don't need to expect anything from 2010. I do have goals that I have set for myself. To better myself in certain areas, pertaining to musical skills [vocals, guitarplaying & piano], to volleyball [setting, jumping, hitting] to academics [SATS, AP's, raising my GPA]. Basically, I love who I am but I just want to better myself. That is my goal.
